My Story Part 2

Originally written on October 1, 1995

My mom worked shift work, days and evening, at the Cotton Mill.  The mill was just around the corner from our apartment.  My mom liked it better than working in the hospital because it was close to home and she didn't have to work the night shift.  I really hated to be alone but I know my Mom didn't like leaving me either.  Aunty Rhea and Uncle Pete were downstairs at least.  It didn't really help much though.  Lately, I was always afraid when I was alone.

Tonight Aunty Rhea and Uncle Pete went out for a while.  They said they wouldn't be very long and I would be OK on my own for a while.

Then I heard a noise.  I was really scared, but I knew the door to the apartment was locked.  Someone was knocking downstairs on the screen door.  Maybe it's Aunty Rhea to say she's home.

I opened the door, BIG MISTAKE, I was always making mistakes.  It was Billy's dad, but I knew Mom wasn't home and I hadn't said anything so she was safe.  He said he just wanted to talk a while.  He said he was sorry about the other day.  I was really scared but I let him in.  I didn't know how to say no to him.  I was so afraid of what he might do to me or worse to my Mom.  He said he liked my jammies and told me I looked really pretty in them.  They were just flannelette, but, hey, a compliment is a compliment.  It felt good to be told I was pretty.

He said we had a real nice home and wanted to see where I slept.  I pointed down the hall because you could see my bedroom down the hall.  He wanted me to show him my room.  Another BIG MISTAKE.  Why was I always doing the wrong things.

He pushed me down on the bed and hollered to someone that is was safe to come in now.  All of a sudden I was surrounded by his friends.  They all smelled really bad.  They were all laughing and making jokes.  Then the lights went out.  Someone turned out the lights.  It was real dark.  All I could see was shadows from the light outside my bedroom window.

They were telling me how pretty I was, what a pretty girl.  Billy's dad came at me and told me to be nice and quiet and no one would get hurt, it was OK, no one would hurt me, no one will ever need to know.  He kept telling me how pretty I was and to be a real good girl, and not to think about my Mom.

Why was this happening to me again.  Who were all these men.  I'd seen some of them at Billy's house on the front porch.  They used to laugh at me and Carol Anne and make fun of us.  But I didn't know why they were in my house, in my bedroom.  How did this happen.  Why did I ever open the door.

Then someone pulled my pajamas off.  I was so cold.  I started shaking.  They just kept saying how pretty, nice little girl.  Be nice now.  Someone was on top of me hurting me again.  What were they doing.  It hurt so bad.  They kept telling me to be nice and quiet, don't make a sound.  They kept saying no one was going to hurt me, but it hurt so bad.

I kept asking them to please stop, I don't want any more, please, no more.  But they wouldn't stop, they kept telling me I like it... I didn't like it at all.  They kept kissing me on the lips.  Someone was trying to put something big and hard in my mouth... then all of a sudden it was very dark and quiet and I was all alone.  I cried and cried and cried.  What a bad dream.  Must have been a dream, my pajamas were still on.  But I was so sore all over, and there was sticky stuff on me.  I better go wash before Mom gets home.  I hope she gets home soon, then I will be safe.  Mom wouldn't let something that awful happen to me.  It was just a nightmare.

When Mom got home she came in to see me and tell me I forgot to lock the door.  But I know I locked it before I went to bed.  I know I did.  She told me I had to be more careful when she was working.

She told me she loved me and said goodnight.  Everything would be OK now.  I won't let anyone ever hurt my Mom.

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