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I forgot myself one day when I was twelve
I was all about those crazy defense mechanisms.
I wanted to just be sick
I became sick
I was consumed in my own made up illnesses
denial that my cousin was touching me
Denial that turned into so many things
OCD, overeating, promiscuity
And I hated it
At the time I even hated me.
So I tried to forget
alcoholism, drugs, and more boys leaving my bed in the middle of the night
I don't know what happened or where things changed
Probably somewhere in between therapist seven calling me a latent lesbian
And therapist ten telling me I needed to relax.
No, it was that jackass of a law student who tried to rape me on New Years
Eve.
Anyway, I found me
The me I lost
The me I knew I could be
I found a good doctor, loving and kind
I found a support group, real and alive
I found love, I found me.
And I
know this isn't a poem per say, no eloquent rhymes, no deep thought out
lines,
But I love myself now, and just want everyone to know it happens, you
survive, and things do get better. So
bless you, know your strengths, know
you are human, know IT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT, love yourself, love God or
whomever you choose. And know you are loved
-Alma Kateri
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